Teenage Recoil
by LarcSakurai
Summary: Axel/Roxas The consequences that befall those that are different in this close-minded, conservative society can be horrible. Especially to those that follow their hearts. I really wanted to make a statement to society with this fic


He was born my lover.

He died our martyr.

As the testimony, another statistic, to the raging flames of hate. Flames even I could never hope to tame. Those dark, hungry fires within the deepest reaches of a man's heart fueling the desire to search and destroy that which defies the logics of modern age society. I wanted to just blow that place sky high but Xemnas held me back. What good would it do? They're just kids, everyone says. What they don't realize is how cruel even your dime-a-dozen seventeen year old conservative extremist can be.

_"Axie..." he smiled at me, threading his fingers through my hair. _

_"Yeah baby?" I kissed him again, savoring the warmth of his mouth._

I drove him up to school as always, his little arms wrapped around me. The roar of the motorcycle died as I helped him down and kissed him deep as we always did. We were a very physical couple, it was just natural to us to embrace and touch like this. He didn't care what the public thought of it and neither did I. Roxas was a nobody... The nobody of the keybearer! He could take care of himself, I had no need to worry...

_"If I ever fade.. burn my coat for me and throw the ashes from the clock tower." I looked at him skeptically. Why. why was he talking about this now?_

I drove out to see Xigbar since he was in Twilight Town at the time. We sat there and shot the breeze, smoking long cigarettes and chugging cold ones on the clock tower. I couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. I knew from the beginning. Dammit why didn't I see this coming...

_"You wanna be cremated?" I couldn't help but smile at the irony of it all._

_"I'm being serious Axel. Promise me you'll do it. Take my coat and burn it."_

The sun hit that point in the sky and I said my farewells to Xigbar. I sped towards that school unable to shake the feeling something terrible had happened. I prayed to whatever might exist that it was paranoia and Roxas would be standing there on the corner with his bookbag on his back smiling at me with that omniscent smile. We always had ourselves a bit of fun before he did his homework much to Superior's disdain.

Only he wasn't standing there. The guidance counselor was.

"You're.. Axel? Roxas's.. uhh.. boyfriend?"

If I had a heart, this is where it would sink.

"Yeah..." I pulled the goggles onto my forehead. "Why...?"

She was solemn. Regretful. "I need.. to speak with you a minute sir." Dismounting my bike all the heat in my body drained away into a fearful chill. I didn't even notice the cheesy holiday decorations strung all over the walls as she led me into this tiny back office and motioned for me to sit down. I did as told and once that door slammed shut I knew it. I just.. knew. Something was wrong.. Roxas wasn't going home with me today...

_"Roxas?"_

_"Axel, please."_

"Roxas..." she began slowly, sitting down across the table and talking in that sticky sweet voice people use when they try to break something to you that might make you go off the deep end. I hated her for it too. I'm not fucking five years old.

"He's... alright... isn't he?" I could barely talk through the lump in my throat trying desperately to deny Roxas wasn't alright.

"I.. didn't have a number to reach anyone at..."

"Just fucking talk to me." I couldn't contain the tears dripping down my face. "Fucking tell me lady I don't want a fucking run around!"

"...I'm sorry."

That was it... I screamed and all around me all I could feel was heat. Something was on fire and she was scattering to put out whatever had just combusted. Tears flowed unhindered down my face. I couldn't control them, I just cried and cried. I never cried... Never.. but.. Roxas.. my baby.. my heart.. my light... No...

"W-Who fucking did this..?" It wasn't sadness anymore. It was rage.

"A group of students.." She was terrified of me, holding a spraybottle as if that would really contain any fire I could set.

"I want to see them." I was ready to kill. "Now!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that sir, the police have already arrested them.."

"You sorry ass bitch!" The waves of adrenaline ebbed away and left me wallowing in an abyss of despair. Empty. Cold. I truly realized for the first time I had no heart.

"Why? Can you at least tell me that?" She looked hesitant at first, eyeing me like she was afraid I'd eat her. I turned away so she wouldn't feel as intimidated. I just wanted a fucking reason.

"...because he was gay."

_"... Alright, I promise."_

Flowers and balloons had been placed all along the railing along the clock tower, his favorite place. In the stone his name had been inscribed, Xemnas had supplied them a phony date. It made me sick to see all this shit lining the wall. I wanted to burn it all, it was because of that fucking school he was even here, or not here, to begin with. I knelt down to kiss the warm stone and more tears dripped off my face flowing through the little grooves. In my arms I held his coat, as I had promised, smelling the tender sweet aroma of my beloved keybearer laced in the pleather fabric.

Standing on the rail I watched the sunset as we always did, hand in hand, sink down below the horizon. A giant rainbow flag had been hung from the top of the tower bells and it whipped proudly in the breeze as the chimes of the night honored their fallen martyr.

Because.. he loved me...

I won't deny.. I felt responsible for his death.

Holding his coat I kissed it over where his heart would have been, trying my hardest to smile for him. He wouldn't want to see my upset and moping. No, he would beat me over the head for that. He would want me to be strong for him. Gripping the material tight I watched as flames sparked at the bottom and slowly ate its way up the fabric. I let it go as it burst into roaring flames, the ashes catching on the wind to swirl around me and disappear out over the lazy town. He was free now. I'd kept my promise.

"I love you too baby... and.. I'm sorry."


End file.
